Exerting Worthwhile Energy

Before diving into what has me irked today, but ties into what I am going to discuss, I really am beginning to think that I should study social media and the way people interact on these forums. It is all so fascinating to me.  Someone is eventually going to begin (or already has begun) studying the kinds of online personas that are present on today's world wide web and social media platforms (that's a blog post still in progress).  From the quiet in "real life" person and very loud online person (meaning you see updates from them constantly) to the person who simply retweets celebs and parody accounts, I am intrigued by them all.  What I want to discuss in this post, are the hundreds and thousands of people who take special time out of their day to make rude comments on celebrities social media pages. 

If you despise that musician, actor/actress or athlete so much, why on earth are you on their personal pages spouting off?  Yes, freedom of speech, but people really take it too far.  Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but it is not always necessary to share your ignoramus two cents.  Yes, public figures are allowed to be (and a lot of times should be) scrutinized, but there is a distinct difference between poking fun and unnecessary meanness.  LeBron James and Justin Bieber both are the two whose Instagram comments alarm me the most.  These are very, very successful and high profile celebrities who are making more money than the people leaving those comments will most likely ever see in their lifetimes. But yet, people are constantly making fun of LeBron's hairline and Justin Bieber's clothing. The researcher in me would love to find and interview these people and really challenge and ask them the most important question of all: Why? By leaving that comment, do you feel better about yourself? Why are grown men commenting about a 20 year old's jeans anyway? Think I'm exaggerating? Please take a minute now (or after reading this) and scroll the comment section on their pages or any celebrities for that matter.

In this country with so many freedoms, it seems so petty to not follow the old school rule of not saying anything at all if it's not nice.  People truly never cease to amaze me.  Everyday I am amazed by the prolific ignorance that and sincere hatred that people have in their hearts.  Why am I going to bother you if I don't like you and/or whatever it is you represent?  I wish...I really wish people would take the energy they use on pointless endeavors and put it into something that breeds results. If that miracle ever took place our economy would be resuscitated, the government would not still be shutdown (or even better never shutdown in the first place), and folks would know that Obamacare and The Affordable Care Act are indeed the same thing. Folks, we have got to get it together. We have to begin to care about the important matters going on in this crazy world around us.  Either we stand by and let it happen or we make change. Which will you choose?

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Celebrity Psyche

I really just took a second to try and fathom the concept of growing up in front of millions and millions of people. Celebrities’ Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are the two who made this thought cross my mind. I have made so many mistakes in my 24 years in the world and I am certainly a better person for making those mistakes. Without making mistakes you don’t grow—there’s just no way around it. But having to hear the professional critics, online bloggers and TV hosts make those mistakes known to the public would take a toll on me. 

These adolescents were/are held to great standards and very few people seem to acknowledge that fact. I guess because I’ve studied the models that Erik Erikson and other theorist have developed, I can’t help but think about what stages they may or may not have gotten to experience. They have all the money in the world in exchange for their innocence. If presented with the opportunity, I’m not sure if that would be something change about my childhood. 

Yes, I learn things the hard way most of the time, but to have to learn those things in front of the camera, can mess with your psyche. Everyone’s story is different, which is the beauty of life, however getting to live it without the majority of the world watching is something I don’t take for granted. It’s a wonder you don’t see more celebrities with mental health issues like poor Amanda Bynes. The entertainment industry is no joke. They get to share the talents they have been blessed, but the price they pay is truly insurmountable!

It was Nick Cannon who wrote to Amanda Bynes saying, “[…]the entertainment industry just consumes people and spits them out like flavorless bubblegum.”

America The Beautiful and Ignorant

Last night, an Indian American was named Miss America. However, not every American saw this as something beautiful. Very racist tweets were posted about Miss. Nina Davuluri, 2013 Miss America, soon after her crowning. Because of her Indian descent, some decided to make the 7-11 jokes, some said she was not really an American and others went as far to say that 9/11 was days ago and we let her win. Try to fathom for just one second that there are actually adults who believe that someone is not American just because he or she is of Indian descent. Those too, are most likely the same people that believe race was not a prevalent issue in the Trayvon Martin case. This may be a news flash to some, but we do not live in a post-racial society. Yes it is 2013, but race and diversity issues are still running rapid.

As Americans, we are allowed to be ignorant—ignorant to and about so many of the basic concepts of humanity. So many are oblivious to the forever lingering race issues that will continue to plague this country because everyone is afraid to discuss things that really matter. It is disheartening to know that a lot of people could tell you more about their favorite sports teams and television shows than the issues taking place in Syria. WE ARE A SPOILED PEOPLE! We can choose to not pay attention to the news and what is really going on in the world around us. There are not enough people willing to educate themselves. Why?

For once, non-white skin color was not a strike against a person. She instead was judged on her performances, her speaking skills, and other talents. Oh my! What if we lived in a society that did not judge people based upon the color of their skin and instead judged them on what they have to offer? Did we not just celebrate the man who had that ‘dream’ 50 years ago? Do you understand that a woman of Indian descent being crowned Miss America is exactly why this country is (supposed to be) so wonderful? That’s Martin Luther’s dream coming true!

Yeah I am proud to be an American, but I would rather not be associated with so many of us [Americans]. I am not discounting the great strides we have made as a nation, a country and a people. However, there is still great progress to be made and it seems to be moving at a snail pace. Ask yourself what you can do to educate yourself and those around you about any of the prevalent issues. You never know who is listening or who you will encourage to do their own research. “My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.” Don’t let it be you.

Honestly, Just Be Honest

Why do people not believe in being honest with one another? The first thing that comes to mind is that the truth is scary. It doesn't always feel good or sound the way we would like. Usually, it's something that stings your whole being and takes a little while to comprehend and maybe even some recovery time is necessary. Because let's face it. It's hard to see yourself. I always say, "The easiest place to see yourself is in the mirror and even that doesn't show everything." In other words, we need and have friends and family members in our lives who should tell us about ourselves, in order to be the best person possible. 

Just think about it. What if our guardians and elementary teachers never taught us how to share? We would probably not have many friends or significant others in our lives. For example, in college you share a room with a roommate and maybe even one day share a life with the person God created just for you. So thankfully there were people in our lives along the way being honest with us about the importance of sharing. Sharing is the foundation of many, many things in this life. Am I making sense? 

There have been plenty of times where I have tried to go around the mulberry bush in order to say the truth, so that it didn't 'sting.' But I try my best to tell the truth because even if it hurts, honesty trumps being untruthful. There is way to tell without being hurtful or harmful to someone. Be mindful of your words and how you would want someone to say make you aware of something. Being untruthful comes with more baggage than simply telling the truth. Untruthfulness comes with lies, hurt feelings, and maybe even a loss of relationship/friendship. And instead with truthfulness comes, true feelings, and an overall better understanding of that person or persons. 

So remember the rule you have heard thousands of times: Honesty is the best policy. If you care about someone, whether it's like or love, be truthful about your intentions with him or her. Emotional scars can last a lifetime. Don't be the person that someone regrets befriending or even worse, loving. In order to be better than the person we were yesterday, we have to be honest with each other and more importantly, ourselves. 

Party in The VMA's

Every year music lovers around the globe anticipate MTV's video music awards show. Our favorite artist are acknowledged for their year's work by taking home a moon man.  Artists of the pop and hip-hop genres gather on this special evening to give great performances or at least attempt. I'll never forget telling the story at the cafeteria table for quite some time of my mum yelling, "She's licking her in the mouth" after watching the Britney and Madonna kiss. There is always as an iconic moment that is talked about for the rest of the week by everybody and this year it's Miley Cyrus and the treacherous performance she gave with Robin Thicke. 

I have to acknowledge the debauchery in her performance last night. Miss Cyrus has the pleasure of acting black but never suffering the actual consequences. In other words, she can act black all she wants and not actually endure what blacks (especially women) face on a daily basis. Fellow blogger, Ali Esteem, put it eloquently:

Black people find Miley Cyrus annoying because her white privilege makes it possible for her to experience only the painless enjoyable parts of being Black. When Miley Cyrus has had enough she can leave. She can leave this Blackness and call it a phase. Where as I, I will be Black forever and I will continue to be reminded of my race for the rest of my life and not in the safe, un-life altering reminders that are just on social networks that Miley feels so oppressed by. 

However, it is not all her fault because we continue to glorify her actions. The Jay-Z shoutout in SomewhereInAmerica may have made matters worse.

That's my first bone to pick with her. 

The other bone is this. After watching one horrible performance after the other, Justin Timberlake graces us with his glorious presence. From start to finish, the performance had flawless choreography, his beautiful voice and even his boys NSYNC from back in the day. I thought to myself, "Wow. People like Miley Cyrus make a complete mockery of what legendary performers like Justin and Beyonce put so much time and effort into making so great." I am more than positive there were not many rehearsals for all the gyrating and horrible attempt of twerking she did on that stage last night. Yet, she is the talk of the blogosphere on every social media platform (and here I am talking about it too). 

No where during the rest of the year is MTV about music, so maybe if they got back to caring about the first part of their acronym instead of capturing horrible teen mother situations, one of the most anticipated award shows of the year would not be a hott mess. Maybe then, artists who are genuinely passionate about their craft like Kendrick Lamar, Miguel and countless others who give us hit after hit, would actually receive awards. I don't know. It's just a guess. 

Elise's Summer '13 Epiphanies

Summer '13 is drawing to a close and it has been absolutely eye-opening. Being the reflective person that I am, I would like to share some of the epiphanies I had. The post-graduation unemployed life leaves you a lot of time to think about any and everything. When you have time like that, one must spend it wisely because time is something you cannot get back. We are not promised tomorrow so we have to take advantage of everything we are given.

This is My Story, This is My Song

One thing The Lord is helping me to understand about me, is that I am most definitely supposed to share my story. I believe my story is unique and so is yours. However, not all of us are called to share (nor would many want to share) our stories publicly. I do not mind being one of the chosen few that must share her story. It is my belief that if I share my story with whomever is willing to listen, he or she may be able to go through life a little bit easier. I am not by any means calling myself the Messiah; what I am saying, is that I want others to learn with me and from me.

Different Kind of Reader

I may not read the novels, but I am constantly reading excerpts, columns and articles from my peers and colleagues. There is true value in learning from one another. The importance of reading is invaluable, but actually sitting down to read books is just not my thing. It is funny because one of my long-term goals is to write a book. Anyway, "We hold these truths to be self-evident" and that is one of mine. As long as you are constantly searching for knowledge and constantly reading ANYTHING, I promise you are indeed doing something right. Never stop reading. The more you read, the more you understand how to grapple with the crazy workings of this world. More importantly, you understand yourself a little more, too.

My Fresh Start

Last, but most certainly not least, I may be late to the party, but I always arrive on time and in style. Most of my colleagues are employed and after a long but fast summer, I am ready to join the ranks. Everyone was saying, "Elise! What's next?" I was not ready to have that answer right after graduation. I wanted to have a second to hang out with myself and be on my own schedule. Slippery Rock had me by their schedule for six years, so I deserved a few minutes to breathe.With that said, after submitting a few applications, I am getting some feedback from potential employers. Exciting, huh?

The plan is to move from PA to the DMV. There is just something about that area that is calling my name and when I get there, my hope is to quickly figure out just why it has been calling me for so long. Would I love being close to home? Yes. However, it's not really that far (four hours) and most importantly, not much is here for me. It is going to be so nice to watch Steeler games without doing homework, going on dates to nice restaurants, and taking road trips to see friends and family. You know, doing things people in their twenties are supposed to do. This new life post graduation will be an adjustment, but a delightful one. Change is not easy, but is necessary for growth. BRING IT!

My Purpose in Life

My purpose in this life is bigger than ensuring students take the correct courses, advising them on how to talk to their roommate about the stinky dishes or what major or career to choose--it is changing lives FOREVER. I want to make a difference in so many peoples lives that I have to keep an online website designated just for people to share their stories with me. This is why, I am really tossing around the idea of becoming a motivational speaker. I want to encourage, inspire, and challenge so many individuals to believe in him or herself to achieve the impossible. Let's want to be more than rappers and football players. Money does not define success; it is defined by what you have done with the time The good Lord has given you while here on this earth. Time is precious so make the most of it!

I know my purpose and I want to help others to figure theirs out--that's how I'll make a difference in this world. I am BEYOND determined. THIS is what I am passionate about. I am passionate about people figuring out his or her purpose and passion. Because if I can get people to realize their passion, their purpose in life is activated, which means goals can be reached and THAT equals success.

You know I always like to end with a quote. It was Confucius who said, "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."

Beauty in Nuance

I am beginning to realize that men do not always understand how we [women] interpret things that they say and do. This is one of the many things that makes the world go around. As women, we try to comprehend whatever it is people are saying. In other words, we look for the deeper meaning. Men on the other hand, (typically) do not. Hence, the “getting to know you” phase being so important when working towards any type of relationship. 

It is no secret that men and women are similar in many ways, but we should appreciate the nuances that lie between the two. 

WAKE UP!

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake Up It's the first of the month" is a lyric throughout the year that crosses my TL almost every first day of the month.  Since we're not too far from that first day, I'd like to challenge us to wake up in a different sense.  On my timeline last night were hundreds of tweets about VH1's show Love and Hip-Hop Atlanta's (LHHATL) reunion. Then this morning, I got up and was watching the Kelly & Michael show and TV mogul, Oprah was a guest. I thought to myself, "Can we go back to wanting to be like Oprah and Barack instead of the ratchet mess on VH1?" It's absolutely disgusting that black folks tune into mess like this.  As a black woman who is fighting the stereotype of who so many believe she is before she even opens her mouth, I cannot and will not endorse shows like  LHHATL. This show and anything like it, set us back so many years. THEN, we have the nerve to wonder why folks stereotype us. Really?! I mean, really? 

If I could ask the black community to do one thing, I would ask them to stop supporting shows like Love and Hip Hop. Here's why:

Shows like Love and Hip-Hop (and countless others) reinforce the thousands of stereotypes that whites have about blacks. Some of the stereotypes are: We're loud. We fight. We're "ratchet." We hate each other. Can anyone tell me that Love and Hip-Hop does not embody all of the things just mentioned? No. What is absolutely astounding is that we have the nerve to be offended when folks call us niggers. May I say, that something as simply as watching a tv shows in turn makes it okay for them to place all those stereotypes upon us. 

Thus, our own actions are why this society less of us. My beautiful black people, we are our own worst enemies. When are we going to take a stand and say no more? I thought the Trayvon Martin situation would inspire us to begin making a difference, but I was regrettably mistaken. We unfortunately, are going to continue to keep letting our wheels spin. 

Maury Povich is the one who has been making the most money off of black folks niggnorance. Young women with five to six potential baby daddies. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Black people wake UP! Wake UP! If you didn't watch, it wouldn't be okay. But no, we endorse it and have been (and will continue to) for years to come. It's sad really.  

So you see it's almost unfair to be upset at the Riley Cooper's and Paula Deen's because the entertainment actions are supporting an age old mentality. The old saying goes, "If we knew better, we'd do better." Well, it is time that we begin to know and do better because if we do not, who will? We cannot and will not move forward unless we make a difference. How do we make that difference? Just by doing simple things like not watching a television show is taking a subtle stand. Remember that it has to start with us. If we want respect, we must first act as though we deserve it.  

A Risk Worth Taking

Of all the things I am thankful for about myself, it is my personality. My personality has afforded me so many opportunities, thus making me into the person I am today. I love to meet new people, no matter what the situation, and make a new acquaintance or friend. Even though I never really considered this [meeting new people] to be one of strengths, it is indeed. To be honest, I still get anxiety meeting new people even though I have proven time and time again that I can thrive. Most of that anxiety comes from always wanting to make a good first impression because it is one you cannot change or take back. Like Sheryl Crow said about the first cut being the deepest, so is an impression. 

This past Saturday and last Sunday, I attended two beautiful weddings by myself (We'll save the how and why that all happened for another blog). A few times before each occasion I said to myself, "Are you really about to do this?! The norm is to take a date and enjoy the ceremony & reception with a boyfriend/someone you are seeing/close friend." But then I thought, "You were invited and this is TOO special of a day for some very dear friends for you to miss because you have to attend #solodolo." I was uncomfortable in both situations, but what is written above in the first paragraph is what I took from the experience.

These were two humbling experiences where I again, surprised myself. And again, the experiences were a little outside of comfort zone and I am beginning to realize that there [outside of my comfort zone] is where I will often be placed in order to continue growing as a person. It is these types of instances that make me realize I'm different (in a good way).  I think most people would not attend if they had to go by themselves or leave early, but I stayed the entire time for both weddings. 

With that said, do not always let your thoughts talk you out of situations you feel are uncomfortable. There is a good chance something may come from that situation that you later use a powerful adjective to describe what you experienced. Our mind is powerful and if we let it always talk us out of things that may be beneficial to us, it can stunt our personal growth. Taking risks makes for a great learning moment and good story, so take them often. Remember you are a lot stronger thank you think! 

Snapback from Reality

Isn't it crazy how you have to step back from reality sometimes in order to stay in touch with reality? If we don't find that escape that works for us, stress is bound to ensue. I don't know about you, but I refuse to be stressed out. They say stress takes years off of your life, so ain't nobody got time for that. For many, their escape is some form of exercise, for others it's reading or even playing video games. However, there are some who choose alcohol and other drugs to escape the challenges that everyday life presents.  That's okay as long as you don't over indulge.

My favorite place to escape first, above all, is music land. Without a doubt, some of my best thinking comes from when I have a little music going on in the background. And just as as side note: I have written some of my best papers jamming to country music. It stems from my high school math teacher playing country music (Kenny Chesney to be exact) while we worked on our computers in class. hahaa Gotta love being from the country! 

I write this in hopes that if you haven't already, find your healthy escape. I know the world says it's alcohol, but that does not always have to be the case.  Find what works for you because there are so many ways to forget about trials and tribulations that we face as adults. Don't forget that God is always willing to listen to what we have to say, so prayers is always an option, too. Even if you don't think He's listening...I assure you He is doing the exact opposite. 

Remember that too much of anything is not good.

#JusticeforTrayvon

Wow. As I read what is being said about the trial on all forms of social media my heart is heavy. The black community is taking a few sides on the Trayvon Martin issue. 

1. Supporting the Martin family. People are blacking out their profile pictures and tweeting #justicefortrayvon.
2. Others are saying, that next week, people won't care. Or outside of social media, I bet no one is talking about the case. 
3. It's a race thing. People are saying it's a black/white issue. 

I would like to argue that it is about all three of those.  We should care next week, it is in fact a race issue and we should be supporting the Martin family in any form or fashion.  Yes, the black community continues to commit black on black crime day in and day out and that is a very serious problem. However, this case has nothing to do with that issue. George Zimmerman may have had no "spite, or ill will" but he decided to pursue a man who "fit the profile" of other break-ins that happened in his community. By taking matters into his own hands, that he CLEARLY was not capable of handling, he had to defend himself by using deadly force and because of that very poor decision, Trayvon Benjamin Martin is no longer on this earth.

Now, people claiming this is just a fad. Whoa. Relax!! Whether it is half-hearted or someone is doing something in support of this case just to get likes or attention, it's still half-hearted; in other words, his or her heart is in the right place. This case has received national attention and I am so glad that it has. George Zimmerman deserves to serve SOMETHING killing this young man. 

Who cares if people do not care about it next week! We can make a difference by standing up for one another via social media. It is the biggest tool that so many of have access to in order for us to voice our opinions. 

This trial has spurred conversation. Good healthy conversation about what forever will be an issue in this country: race. I am so proud to be the color that I am, but it comes with a price.  My color comes with the duty of being better than what they portray in the media and movies.  My color comes with the responsibility of holding myself to standard to be well read and educated. My color is why Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks had to stand up! We may not have endured the racism that they did, but I guarantee you that they would both (and other Civil Right Activists for that matter) be proud of us for taking a stand and coming together over this very serious trial. 

Blanket Statements Don't Cover Everybody

By now, everyone who knows me, understands that social media will somehow work its way into our conversation. Let’s face it. That’s where most of my peers are confessing or professing, offending or defending, whatever it is that they think or believe. Social media is an outlet used by many to express anything—#nofilter.

Our opinions are based off of experiences we have had, and those experiences help us form thoughts and beliefs about what is “true” in this world. Facts cannot be disputed i.e. If I let go of a pen, it falls to the ground because of gravity. Opinions on the other hand are different. i.e. Black is the best color for a truck. Yes, you and I are both entitled to our opinion, but those opinions cannot and should not be applied to everyone and everything you know. There is a certain kind of opinion that I want to address and those are blanket statements.

On my timelines, whether Facebook, Twitter and even Instagram, I see statements about women and men, black and white, dark skinned and light skinned, and the list goes on and on. I cannot believe (but really, I can) that general opinionated statements are still said and affirmed by all. Mostly because the statements are true (to some degree) and good for a laugh. However, are we not always professing that we want to be different and that we should appreciate those differences about one another? Unfortunately, the exact opposite is occurring far too often.

Elise, give us some examples.

Well, I’m so glad you asked.

One of the tweets that prompted this post was a statement by a friend of mine via Twitter who said: “It’s like females in sports. They cheer for the popular team or the reigning champions.” Well first of all, it would be “like females and sports”…just saying. Anyway, there are some females who only watch The Heat because of LeBron James’ smile or DWade’s jawline. But what about the girls who are die-hard fans?! What about the girl who has NBA-TV just to make sure she doesn’t miss a game, has the SportsCenter App. on her phone to get all the latest updates, and could be on First Take tomorrow with Skip and Stephen A. talking like any other seasoned sports analyst? If I know a few girls who can fall into the category, then surely some fellas can say the same. It seems unfair, bias, and stereotypical for anyone, male or female, to say such a thing.

Posts that are clogging Instagram feeds everywhere: “Bitches be like…” and “Niggas be like…” Once again, there is truth behind these phrases and to some degree they are also funny. Although, I also find them to be mostly degrading. The phrases are usually pointing out peoples contradictory actions. For example, a guy will post: a picture of a young woman droppin’ it like it’s hot on Saturday night and then, Sunday morning #churchflow. No, I do not condone a woman dancing in a vulgar manner, but God loves her just as much as He loves you and I. At the same time, guys act like they are not doing the same thing. She was dancing with somebody, wasn’t she?

I am so amazed at how much time we take out of our day to tear each other down, instead of building one another up. In some weird way pointing out each others contradicting actions is a good thing because we are setting a certain standard. It’s just funny to me because usually those publicly holding the standard, have very few [standards] themselves, but he or she believes everyone else should have them. Or better yet, he or she could be seen out doing the same thing or worse. Isn’t that called a double standard?

Before you clump everyone into one general idea, think again! We were all created by the same hands, but He made all us one thing: different.

Something Other Than Your Breasts

It is nice to be reminded every once in a while
that a person with a decent set of manners and morals
still matters to some folks.

A genuine person who isn’t perfect,
but has their stuff together.
I mean, that has to be somewhat commendable.
Someone has to see the beauty in that!

I’m really different than most girls.
I like to show off my smile and not my breasts.
I show cleavage like the best of them but what good does it do me if you didn’t notice my face first?
I want to attract him with my corny sense of humor, lovable personality, infectious laugh and mission to be one of the most respected black women in her field.
I want my conversation to leave a long lasting impression that has you thinking about a concept or idea days after it’s been over.

My beautiful assets are part of the package, but some things should
be left to the imagination until you’ve earned the right to see what’s inside.
The mailman does not deliver mail before someone has made sure
it is going to be sent to the right address.
And maybe I’m the last girl to believe in this, but I want that package to be dropped off to the right recepient.
So for right now, the package is still in the warehouse prepping and when the person worth the shipping and handling fees comes along,
like they say at USPS.
“If it fits, it ships."

I’m not tryna diss the girls who have their tits
out in their pics, but
what are you trying to present?
what message are you sending?
Cause pics like that scream D-T-F
and last time I checked
Snookie and the other meatballs
were never and should not be considered any kind of role models.

Oh America
We have confused these young women!
We have gotten them to believe that their figures are all they have to give.
When it should be about what college they’re attending,
where they see themselves in five years and what their biggest accomplishment is?
How can we transform their mindsets when every rap song says the exact opposite?
There comes a point when we should just listen to the music and not actually digest it.
What’s the difference you ask?
Let it be the songs you dance to with ya girls at the club
but not be something you’re actually trying to live by.

If that last paragraph is ever accomplished the world could be a better place.
Oh we’ll still spend hours in the mirror because that is human nature,
but instead,
it’ll be for ourselves.
Women: Impress the world with the beauty of your smile and mind!

I Love Music

I love music.

I love it because it’s timeless.

The lyrics make you think about love or lust,

ya latest crush or the one you’re tryna leave in the dust.

I love music.

It doesn’t matter if it’s Biggie or Diddy, Taylor or Antebellum,

Frank or Chris, Drake or The Weeknd, J. May’ or J. Mraz 

their music speaks to me.

At different times,

when I’m in a certain mood,

I can go to YouTube or Spotify and play a song that can identify with

however I am feeling.

That’s powerful! 

Music is the language that everyone can speak. 

No matter what genre, there’s an artist and/or band 

whose music gets you from day to day. 

Be Gay Like the Flinstone's Baby

I find it so fascinating that we bash Chris Bosh for being gay and he has a wife; while everyone seems to be praising Jason Collins for coming out. Does anyone see where I’m about to go with this? Let me make myself clear. I am genuinely happy for Jason Collins and for making this declaration because I know it was not easy for him. His bravery is to be commended and I hope this encourages others who are going through this process, to feel empowered.

As soon as Jason made this announcement, memes were instantly flooding my Instagram and Twitter feeds with Chris Bosh captioned saying things like “I’m coming Jason!” and “Coach, can we trade for him.” I mean, it is just not funny anymore—hell, it never was funny. People who think it is are actually showing their ignorance and bigotry towards gays. Since everyone has taken such a liking towards Jason, I almost wish he would speak out against making fun of people who aren’t and people saying they are. It is not fair to Chris, his family or to people like Jason in the gay community. It reinforces the fact that there is still hatred towards people who identify as gay and that they will be ridiculed.

Let’s put the shoe on the other foot. For example, people very often remark about the way I speak. Because I can construct a sentence that does not sound anything like what blacks and whites have witnessed women of my color speak like on Maury, I automatically talk “white.” It’s not fair to any educated and well read person to be referred to in that manner and/or treated any differently.

If that analogy didn’t make sense, try this one: It makes me think of Carlton always feeling like he needed to prove his blackness to Will on Fresh Prince. He tried living in the roughest part of the neighborhood JUST to gain Will’s respect.

We are a society that is constantly trying to make fun of people for ANYTHING! Why don’t we instead figure out ways in which we can love or learn from each other. This happens in small doses and we see it when tragedies happen like Boston strike our nation. However, why do we wait until something bad happens?! I guess I’m like John Mayer and just waiting on the world to change.

Pressure Always Points in the Right Direction

At my age, close friends and family are getting engaged and married what seems like everyday. It is such an exciting time! To know who you want to spend the rest of your life with at such a young age is quite the blessing. Then, to be invited to these weddings is an honor in and of itself. Although I am anxious for this to happen for me, there is no rushing this process. 

With that said, it is my belief that there is a pressure to do what everyone else in your circle is doing. This happens mostly because the people comprising our circle are achieving the same goals and are around the same age. Thus, they have very similar activities and life events happening around the same time. Even though this is the case in most instances, there should not be a pressure to be making the same things happen in your life. It is alright to not be doing what everyone else around you is doing. I always like to use myself as an example. Pursuing my graduate degree was a big decision for me. None of my close friends were going right back into school, so Elise made the choice for her. I think that is on e of the many reasons why I am still on this natural high from graduating because I cannot believe I did it. I surprised myself! Even though my close friends did not pursue another degree like me, does not mean they will not one day; it just was not their time. 

Just because everybody around you is making great changes to his or her life, does not necessarily mean you need to do the same.  Each decision you make comes with a commitment and that is not something that should be taken lightly. Let that unspoken ‘pressure’ drive you to make well thought-out decisions not off-the-cuff decisions. Ultimately, your path should and will be different from everyone else’s. How boring would it be if we all did everything exactly the same way? There would be no reason to share cold beverages or hot meals with one another; we would already know the others’ story. Life would be so boring. The great thing about this life we have is that we all have a story and we should make sure ours is worth hearing. 

Why Paula Deen's Piece is Being Sliced

My girl Paula Deen dropped the n-word and other racial slurs. This situation coming to light has now prompted The Food Network to not renew her contract. 

Now, everyone and their mother is taking to Facebook and Twitter to say that if this were a rapper this would not even be an issue. NEWSFLASH: IT’S APPLES AND ORANGES FOLKS! Rappers are given what is called a poetic license. Their profession is art; thus, whatever it takes to compose that art—it is allowed. I am not excusing the derogatory language that rappers use; I am however, telling you why it is allowed and in turn, accepted. 

We simply cannot and should not compare the two. Paula Deen is supposed to making us delectable pies and delicious treats…not using the n-word.